Today we are taking #TheManBattleOfTheCentury to the next level. We are going to play a Dating Game Show, with the contestants Decker Steele and Cooper Ryan. The lucky lady who gets to choose between scrumptious one and scrumptious 2 is Melanie, from Sassy Mum Book Blog.
Mel, ask the men your first question!
Mel - Alright boys, here is your first question: Why is sex so sexy and how can you make sex even sexier?
Cooper - Uh, *glances at Decker* you wanna field this one, mate? I'm just a rock star with a broken heart. *winks at Mel*
Decker - No problem Muso Boy. I think apart from the obvious physical enjoyment of sex, it's all about the sounds. The slapping of flesh on flesh, the groans, the screaming of my name, *winks at Mel*, oh yeah, it's all about the screaming. And I know I can make it sexier by adding a little chocolate sauce.
Cooper - Jesus dude! Even I'm turned on. Alright I'm going with humming.
Decker - *laughs* Humming?
Cooper – Humming! Ladies love a man who knows how to use his mouth.
Decker - Speaking of which, did I tell you about that time I won an award for eating pus.....
Kirsty - Decker babe, behave yourself.
Carmen – Honestly, they’re like children!
Mel - *nods her head in agreement* Alrighty, Next question, what song best describes you and why?
Cooper - Milkshake by Kellis. *catches the odd look Mel gives Decker* What? I make a mean milkshake on the tour bus. Though if you ask Decker this question he'll more than likely say Sex on Fire, which is possibly true. I'm sure chlamydia burns like a mother f*cker *winks*
Decker - Huh, so Muso Boy does have a sense of humor. A song that best describes me? Starland Vocal Band - Afternoon Delight. I've recently discovered the joy of a little afternoon indulgence *gins at Mel*
Cooper - you know what's funny, man whore? Your outdated tasted in music. It's gonna be okay though, I'll give you a Taint CD to take home.
Decker - Whatever floats your boat Muso Boy, but nothin' beats the sexy sounds of the free lovin' sixties!
Mel - Okay boys, what is the difference between love and romance?
Cooper - Sex on the first date? Nah, I'm just shitting you. Romance is flowers, and picnics, and serenading a girl on the beach. Now love on the other hand... Love is a merciless bitch that screws you over, rips out your heart and moves your baby half way across the state without talking to you about it first. *frowns at Mel's stricken expression* Sorry. I'm kinda working through some things. Love is watching Frozen eight times at the movies because your significant other is more than a little obsessed. It's also looking after their bastard cat because it's too "dangerous" for a shelter to take in.
Decker - Okay Negative Nancy, move aside and stop freaking out Mel. Love is that feeling you get when you find ' the one', when your heart truly wakes and slams like a damn sledge hammer inside your chest. Love is wanting to see your woman smile every day and doing whatever it takes to make it happen. Love is the waking of a year long absent erection and I shit you not, that is some powerful f*cking shiz right there!
Cooper - Christ on a cracker, you're pussy whipped!
Decker – *grins as he lazily stretches out his long legs and links his fingers behind his head* Yup, sure am.
Mel - Moving right along (these boys are hornbags), Question 4, which would you prefer, to be attractive, rich, famous or have super powers?
Cooper - Well, I already three of those things, so I'm gonna go with attractive. *grins*
Decker - *rolls eyes* - Mel, it would have to be superhuman powers so I can fly you to the moon and back like you deserve and for the record, I can do that metaphorically from a bedroom too. *grins at Cooper*, see what I did there kid? You could learn a thing or two from me.
Cooper - Like what? How to lose my manhood in ten days. F*ck me! You didn't even have to think up that shit before it came spewing out of your mouth did you? Wanna know what super hero power I'd choose, Mel? The all mighty power of bitch slapping this arsehole into next year. *Laughs* Dude, you used to be a legend.
Decker - I do get the last laugh Muso Boy, cause I have no doubt that in your substantial stash of porn at home will be one of my flicks and you probably spanked the monkey good and hard while watching me work my magic with the ladies *grins*
Cooper - yeah, you're not really my type, but the chicks were okay, plastic fantastic, right? Give me that hot pieces of tail that's following you around lately and we're good.
Decker - *growls at Coop*
Mel - *fans herself* Okay, last question, your best pickup line.
Cooper - "You wanna get out of here?" Usually works just fine.
Decker - I actually heard this from a friend *winks at Kristine Barakat*. (Decker raises his finger to Mel and makes a come here motion) I just wanted to see if I could make you come with one finger. *glances at Cooper*, works every time, the pickup line and making my girl come with one finger.
Cooper - Yeah, I remember that worked well on your mother! *winks*
Decker - Well it worked just fine on your momma *winks back*
Mel - WOW WOW WOW......After careful consideration from Coops and Decker's panty whipped answers......Winner is Decker Steele. Cannot wait to go out with his dirty mouthed full of hotness. Sorry Coops you know I love you dearly!
Decker - *grins* Thank you sweetheart. June 1st and I am all yours and I am definitely bringing the chocolate sauce,(assuming I don’t use it all up with Sugar Mumma *winks at Carmen Jenner) Muso Boy, better luck next time buddy. #DeckerSteeleFTW #CooperRyanLoserBoy XOX
Congratulations Decker Steele, and thank you Cooper Ryan, Melanie from Sassy Mum Book Blog, Carmen Jenner and Kirsty Dallas.