In the media of late I’ve been gripped and touched by a story about a young girl who for a very short period of time dated an older man. An older man who wore a pretty mask and showered her with endless promises and whispered in her ear seductive dreams. She was a young woman who saw the man in the mask as a fairy tale, only her fairy tale didn’t end with a happily ever after. No, the man eventually removed his mask and in its place stood a vile creature that inevitably crushed this girl and forced hate and rubbish into her mind until she broke. Breeana took her own life eighteen months ago.
Today I read an article titled, “He Never Hit Me”. Those words slammed into my head and I think will be lodged there permanently. Those four words resonated within me, I understood them before I even read the article. There have been many times when I doubted I was ever really abused, because in my own tormented relationship, he never hit me. My abuser used emotional abuse and scare tactics. Threats that turned me from a confident, social girl into a scared and lonely young woman. I withdrew from my friends, I ignored their warnings and the concern in their eyes, and my world closed in and revolved around my abuser.
I tiptoed through glass shards on a day-to-day basis, hoping and praying I would not upset him. He had a temper and with alcohol added to that temper, he was frightening. I lived my life teetering on an edge where I would do anything to keep my abuser calm and hide my torment from my family and the few remaining friends that I had. It was exhausting.
My abuser on occasions taunted me with how easy it would be for him to make me ‘disappear’, he reminded me how worthless I was. If I dared have a friendship with another man I was accused of cheating. I endured being yelled at, spat on and pushed. I endured being humiliated in front of his friends and the disbelief and confusion that they never stood up for me has stayed with me until this day.
I used to wonder why a man could so easily and heartlessly hurt a woman, but I now understand. It is because they are weak. So feeble, so insecure, so cowardly and pathetic, that they thrive in the slip of power they are handed when they abuse a weaker person.
My words and personal story aren’t going to stop abuse, they aren’t going to fix the never ending cycle of degradation and hate that these worthless, bitter men sprout. I’m not looking for pity, I’m not looking for admiration. What I hope my words do inspire is power in women. I don’t look back on my abuse with guilt, shame or sorrow, instead I look back on it for what it was, a weak man’s moment to grab the heady thread of power. And I took that away from him. In leaving my abuser I took back my life and I survived, better than that, I thrived. My experience gave birth to a new confidence within me and carved me into the woman I am today. I stand up for myself now, and I will always…ALWAYS, stand up for women who are not yet strong enough to stand up for themselves.
Article "He Never Hit Me"
Article Beeana Robinson
Victim Support Australia
November 25th is White Ribbon day. For the entire month of November I will display the white ribbon as my profile picture across all social media formats, AND all profits from my novel, SAVING ELLA, will go to the White Ribbon organization. Click on the picture to follow the link to whiteribbon.org.
It seems I'm not content with spending months researching, writing and editing a book. You would think that amount of blood, sweat and tears would be enough to fulfill the creative charged existence of any author. Apparently just not this author. When I embarked on writing one of the most difficult subject matters I've ever tackled, I decided I needed more of a challenge. So began the journey of A Shade of Violet.
I stumbled across Beau Maynard in an online musical directory that Beau had no idea he was a part of. Thank god for the internet pixie's that mysteriously added him to that directory. After Kylie and I met with Beau at one of his gigs, an excitement began to burn through my veins. Beau was a harmonious, yet creative force who was eager to be a part of something different. I emailed Beau my tragic and disgraceful first attempt at song writing. Beau has kindly not laughed too hard over my effort. After several meetings where we fumbled through explaining the book, the characters, what the song was to represent, discussing melody's and cords, Beau presented us with one verse. ONE VERSE THAT BLEW OUR MINDS! It actually brought Kylie to tears (*fist pump*).
A few weeks later, with a finished song in hand I found local Gold Coast music producer, Corey Pryor. Corey's own musical journey was full of epic stories which spanned the globe and places like Nashville, where music is the pulse of the land and very much sacriligious. Corey, Beau and I had an immediate kinship, a combination of love for music, creativity and a cruizy yet ambitious personality. After a full day in the studio, (where we may or may not have fondled a silicone breast implant, not within a woman's body mind you), we had a song. Once Corey worked a little production magic on it, we had a song ready for iTunes.
Now reflecting on the journey of adding something like this to a book release, I can say with certainly it added a lot of unneeded extra pressure and stress, but it was totally worth it and I wouldn't have done a single thing differently. Music is a big driving force behind my writing and words, so to entwine my two loves in such a way was a process I will forever cherish.
Thank you Beau, you are a friend for life and forever etched into my career with fondness! You can follow Beau HERE
Thank you Corey, you are one cool dude with an ear for tone and tune. You really are a production genius!
Purchase A Shade of Violet at iTunes
View the book trailer which also features A Shade of Violet
Once again, everything I had envisioned for the cover of my book ended up on the cutting room floor. I almost NEVER go with the epic vision I have created in my mind, but I am grateful I am open minded enough to explore so many different options so I end up with the best cover possible.
I wanted the cover for Violet Addiction to reflect the story, I wanted the sultry stage presence that Violet hides behind, but I wanted her vulnerability too. I wanted to try and capture the chaos that consumes her days of drug addiction and I wanted to entwine her passion for music. That's a lot to convey in one image without it becoming messy and cluttered. I think I did it, the contrasting font in the title, the tornado of music, the stunning presence she portrays when she sings. I hope you love it as much as I do.
I couldn't do these covers without my PA and mother who always take this journey with me. Here are a few snaps from the cover shoot. A MASSIVE thank you to Rhylee, my cover model, who was so still and patient while Angela caked her in makeup, then so blessedly easy to pose and photograph!
*scroll to bottom of blog post for giveaway
VIOLET ADDICTION COMING NOVEMBER 1ST
COVER REVEAL GIVEAWAY
For the chance to win a $25 Amazon Gift Card, follow this link